There is nothing wrong with falling in love quickly, really. You get to taste the feeling right when it arrived and for a moment, you are on cloud nine. The problem with this, however, is, usually, it can only last for a moment. Then after that moment of bliss comes sweeping pain, despair, depression, and all other emotions that could be fatal.
This may not be true to all, but this is what happens most of the time. Two people, swept by passion (prematurely), will realize they can no longer handle the roller-coaster flow of emotions in a relationship. They will then decide to abandon what they thought to be “true love” simply because “it’s not working anymore”. Sad, I know. But, you know what’s worse? It’s too easy to fall in love, but it’s too hard to move on.
So, would you still like to fall in love too fast? No, of course not. You need to be extra vigilant about your feelings and make sure you won’t fall into the trap of quick commitments and quick breakups. If you truly want a lasting relationship, learn to apply the brakes where necessary. Learn to halt your heart, and activate your head. Here’s how:
- Know the qualities you want in a partner
Before opening yourself up to a relationship, make sure you already know the qualities of the person that you want to be with. Be clear about what you want so you won’t fall for anything less than you deserve. Be specific about the character, the principles, the beliefs, the interests, and the overall appearance of the person. It is true that you can never find everything you’re looking for out of a single wo/man, but having a list will keep you guided on who to choose or not. It will also keep you from getting strayed on the sudden outburst of emotion when a total heartthrob asks you for a date.
- Get to know the person well
Some people have multiple personalities, and sometimes, it’s hard to decipher the true character from the pretenses. It is absolutely important to take ample time in knowing the person better before jumping into whatever conclusion. It takes time to know a person and build confidence and trust. Don’t be too picky, but don’t be too easy either. If you are looking for someone you can keep forever, be very mindful and observant on the person’s behavior and words. Talk to him or her as often as you can so you will know his thoughts, then you can have a glimpse into his very soul.
- Affirm the genuineness of the person’s affection towards you
Anyone can say they love you, but there’s hardly one who can prove it. This is the hardest part, but the most important of all. Choosing someone who truly loves you is essential if you don’t want to spend a lot of time getting jealous with some trifler. Show everything bad and ugly about you, and see whether s/he stays. But don’t take it to exaggeration. Show how horrid you can get but make sure to keep it real. Someone who stays after seeing your worst is truly a keeper.
Nothing that is taken in haste ever lasted. Everything pure and durable takes a long, rigorous process. Even diamonds take billion of years to form under high temperature and pressure. So, don’t fall in love too fast if you want a relationship that can stand the test of time.