Archive | April 2016

Love Poems From My Heart

Poem 1

This is a Poem from my heart about living in the present moment and enjoying the attention, presence and love of the One for You!

Just BE with me.

Just Sit with me.

Just Allow me to Dwell in your divine succulent presence.

Just BE you without distractions.

Just BE you without your protective walls.

Just BE you, the romantic king that makes my Queen’s heart swell with divine love.

Just BE you, the gentleman that I know you are and can choose to Be.

Just BE you, the kind and loving soul that I know you are.

Just BE you, the authentic perfect “designed by God” king made for greatness destined to soar and roar.

Just BE you, my Hero, the one who swept me off my feet with your divine sexy eyes and generous heart.

Let’s carry each other in the beauty and magnificence of our united spirits, in this moment.

The only moment there is.

Just BE with me in the NOW.

No one else exists.

No one else matters.

Just you and I.

Your attention is more priceless than anything you could ever give me.

So just BE with me in this moment, because for now, only you and I exist surrounded by the grace and love of God in the sacredness of our unity. Just BE with me.

Queen Marième Faye

Poem 2

A Love declaration from Queen Marième’s Heart to her King’s Heart

I fell in love with you heart,

Then your spirit romanced me.

Your soul snatched my unconditional love and refused to let go.

My spirit said yes.

My soul said yes.

My body said yes and yearns for yours since then.

You are the apple of my eyes.

I know that God loves me deeply because He created You just for me.

You amplify my joy.

You uplift my spirit.

You make me feel beautiful, sexy and divine.

You bring out the divine feminine and the goddess in me who is captived by you.

The Queen in me yearns for the King in you.

I can’t wait to fully surrender myself to you forever; spirit, mind, soul and body.

I can’t wait for us to be ONE under God.

You make me feel safe, loved and cherished.

You treasure me as I treasure you.

Together, we shall continue to raise each other’s hearts to the level of pure, divine, deep, authentic unconditional love.

Love that some people only dream of and experience through romantic movies.

Love that we get to experience every day, lost in each other and into each other.

Love that makes the birds sing for us every morning as they can feel our hearts’ connection.

Love that make us feel joy, happiness and bliss everyday.

Love that conquers All hearts, elevates spirits and seduces souls to ecstasy and full divine communion.

This is how much I love you my dear King, this Love that I have for you is purely unexpected which makes it so much more powerful and exciting.

I love you mon amour, mon coeur, mon chéri, ma vie.

Queen Marième Faye

 

This entry was posted on April 28, 2016.

So What Stands in Your Way From Having a Satisfying Relationship Finding Out Is the Key to Success

Many women are quite “susceptible” to suffer after a broken relationship. The reasons might be many, and might differ from one woman to another. However, the main issue is, whether a woman can “learn” how to maintain a successful intimate relationship and not having the need to look for a new partner time and again. The answer is quite a simple one: when you develop Self-Awareness, getting to understand what, in your attitudes and behaviors cause a relationship to fail, you can then become empowered to develop and maintain a successful intimacy.

Some of the ways by which you sabotage your relationships

To love and be loved is wonderful. However, when you love “without borders”; when you give of yourself unconditionally (which is very romantic); when you “sacrifice” yourself “at the altar of the relationship”; when you let your partner dictate the nature of the relationship (or lack of), rather than making sure you have a relationship of mutual give & take, you then might find yourself, time and again, frustrated, bitter, sad and alone.

What makes you behave in such self-sabotaging ways?

The reasons might be many, and might differ from one woman to another. You might behave that way out of low self-esteem; out of fear of abandonment; out of bottomless need for love; out of the belief that giving oneself totally to their loved ones is heroic, altruistic, etc.

Regardless of what drives you to behave in ways which sabotage your relationships (time and again) it is quite likely that you are unaware of what you do wrong. First, you don’t see any “wrong-doing” by offering so much love. Second, if you would have been aware of the ways in which you sabotage your relationships you would have probably make the necessary changes by now.

Lack of Self-Awareness drives you to sabotage your relationships time and again

Many are unaware of the needs and fears which drive their behaviors (such as: fear of abandonment; the need to be loved and appreciated). Nor are they aware of the behavioural patterns they have developed throughout the years based on these fears and needs (such as: sacrificing yourself; being there 100% for your partner, etc.). The behaviors and attitudes you think will “save” your relationships and “save” you from being left by a partner, are exactly those which sabotage your relationships and leave you alone, once more.

However, not being aware of this turn of events, you are likely to continue behaving in these self-sabotaging ways over and over again, regardless of how many relationships you have had.

Developing your Self-Awareness is a key to becoming able to maintaining a successful intimacy

Developing your Self-Awareness is the key to becoming able to understand your self-sabotaging behaviors and the needs and fears which drive you to behave the way you do.

It is only when you become aware that you begin to realize how you shoot yourself in the foot in relationships until now (believing you are doing “the right” thing and not realizing the opposite is true).

Now, with your new awareness, you begin to understand what you need to change in your behaviors and attitudes. You also begin to see what you can do in order to control your needs and fears from driving you to sabotage your relationships once more.

Self-awareness empowers you to begin being assertive with potential partners; knowing realizing your right to having a mutual give & take relationship; and knowing how to set up borders even with your loved one.

The road to Self-Awareness

The road to Self-Awareness shouldn’t be paved with difficulties. If you tread this road with positive thinking and attitude, believing that, at the end, it will lead you to becoming stronger and more empowered to maintain a successful intimacy, you will realize that you enjoy and appreciate the process, the journey, the way leading up to finding a partner with whom you will develop a relationship which will be based on true love, mutual give & take and appreciation.

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant, and the author of: “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship. In his book Dr. Gil teaches you how to understand what stands in your way from successful intimacy, realize the ways by which you have sabotaged your relationships until now, and enables you to become empowered to develop a healthy and satisfying relationship

 

This entry was posted on April 16, 2016.

11 Sneaky Intimacy Tricks

1. Greet your partner in a way that creates deeper connection.

Pay attention to how you greet your partner. Is it with a list of chores? Or problems? Or just a sideways ‘Hi’ without any eye contact?

What to do instead:

Stop what you are doing; your partner deserves a minute of your undivided attention. Look at them, smile, hug and hold them dearly while hugging for at least 10 seconds (champions go for a whole minute! Let me know if it’s you here). This is better done in silence.

Your relationship will benefit immensely! And this will only take a minute, at most two.

2. Add a 30-seconds kiss to your daily routine.

I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Remember how you used to love kissing in the beginning of your relationship? It’s time to go back to that feeling! Kiss, be fully present and explore different ways of kissing.

3. Sneak a loving sexy note.

Write a note for your partner and put it in their pocket or be creative with your bath mirror.

How easy is this?!?

Right?

Post a photo of your note here! I’d be delighted to see your creativity.

4. Focus on loving thoughts.

Look at your partner and think loving thoughts, feel love in your heart and imagine that you send your loving energy right into their heart.

You don’t have to speak to your partner about it.

I had an argument with my partner yesterday. Afterwards all I did was focus on loving thoughts and what I love about him. It’s amazing how much it changed the energy between us, and somehow he became oh so huggy and loving with me!

5. Notice, pause, appreciate.

Goes like this:

  • You notice what your partner did for you today, the simplest, most ordinary thing – picked up groceries, looked at you with a smile, played with kids, put his socks away, cooked dinner for you, said you look nice today, etc.
  • You pause and pay attention to the thing that your partner did for you.
  • You look at your partner and say: “Darling, I so love it when you do… It means to me that… (I have a partner, you care about me, you consider my feelings, etc.) It makes me feel… (loved, respected, appreciated, etc.) It makes my life… (easier, happier, more exciting, etc.)
  • It’s truly astonishing what this simple practice of noticing, pausing and verbally appreciating your partner can do to the amount of intimacy you share.
  • Don’t you think this is easy to implement? Let me know how you get on.

6. Use beam gleam.

This trick comes from Dr Helen Pooler.

In social situations when your partner is on the other side of the room, look at them and say with your eyes ‘I love you, you matter to me, you are so special to me’. Send them a beam gleam and notice how your partner reacts.

7. Go to bed together.

We are in a vulnerable state when we fall asleep. We are defenceless and innocent. So when you fall asleep with your partner it creates more safety in your relationship. Most of us need to feel safe to feel love and be loving.

Do you have a habit of going to bed at different times and maybe working and doing chores? This habit could be very damaging to your love. Make a commitment to go to bed at the same time at least twice a week.

8. Touch your partner every day in a non-sexual way.

Touch! We all need it so much! Babies brains don’t grow to their full extent if they don’t get enough physical contact. They can even die from the lack of it.

Sometimes we might use sex to get the touch that we need or use sex as our security blanket, to reaffirm to ourselves that we matter to our partner. This is usually a turn off for the other.

Relationships fail to thrive if partners don’t give each other enough touch.

Pay attention to how often you touch your partner through the day. The goal – 3 points of touch contact. Maybe a hug, a pat on the head or holding hands. Advanced practitioners can do a head massage or a foot massage.

9. Assume that your partner loves you and cares about you.

Quite often we jump to the conclusions like “He doesn’t care enough.”, “She doesn’t appreciate me”, “It’ll never work” or something similar. What is your habitual conclusion?

When your partner upsets you make it a habit to assume that your partner still cares about you and loves you. Notice how differently you act when you assume the best. Share with us here!

10. Break the routine.

Do something unexpected together! Challenge yourself, push your boundaries, play with a fantasy or do something that you’ve always wanted to do, but are scared. Maybe now it the time to experience it together?

What will it be?! I’m excited to hear! Share here.

11. Help, please!

What is one of your sneaky intimacy tricks? Please let me know! I need to prepare myself for a surprise date my partner has organized for us. So please, do me a favor, email your favorite sneaky trick and I’ll include it here.

Choose one and go for it. Share your successes and struggles on our Magnetic Women Club page. Ask questions and I will personally reply.

Though maybe right now you constantly argue and you just don’t feel like focusing on loving thoughts and can’t even imagine sneaking a sexy note into his pocket.

Then you need my 13-Step Formula to Stop Arguments From Destroying Your Connection!

 

This entry was posted on April 7, 2016.

Is It Love Is It Abuse Is It Neediness

They met at the workplace and began dating. A few months later he moved in with her, to her own place. As a divorced man, having owned no property (he never told her whether he ever had one and whether he left it to his ex), he was happy for not having to extend a contract on a leased apartment.

So far so good: They were “in love”. They dreamt about life together, “until death will do us part”. They enjoyed coming back home after work, sitting on the bench, looking at the sunset, eating dinner together, with a good bottle of wine, night after night, as if they have done it for decades.

… And time went by. And they gotten used to each other – whatever “used” means. And they got accustomed to life’s routine, life’s structure together.

And then one day, out of the blue (or was it a stormy day?) he asked her if it will be o.k. that he’ll bring his adult son to live with them; he is 20, unemployed at the moment. Would she mind?

We don’t know whether she minded or not. We can believe that, in all probability, she didn’t mind. After all, who will mind when there is such a great love between them? And besides, what’s love after all, if not coming towards your partner, accommodating his needs and requests?

So the 20 year old son moved in with them.

So far so good: She felt like a stepmother (even though she wasn’t much too older than the boy. But, alas, not having children of hers, why not “pretend” and play “as if” he was her child? And besides, what shouldn’t she do for her partner?)

You would have thought that the story ended here. But no: The end is yet to come.

Some months went by; the son was still living at her home (claiming that “as soon as he finds a job he will rent his own place”). She felt somewhat betrayed, cheated, but said nothing. After all, why rock the boat? Why take the chance that her partner will get angry at her? This is exactly what she doesn’t need, that he will get angry at her, and God forbid: he might even leave her!

So she said nothing (maybe now is the time to mention that she and her partner have seldom, if at all, communicated openly about issues. After all, as a “man”, he didn’t talk much. And being who she was, she didn’t encourage him to share. How they spent their evenings together looking at the sunset is unknown; apparently in silence).

Yet, everything seemed to be going “smoothly”. In silence, with not much communication, but smoothly (whatever that means).

But then one day – as it often happens – sitting by herself on the bench drinking wine (did she know why he was late coming home that day?), it finally downed on her – how did it happen now and not earlier is a riddle – that she is the one paying for all household expenses, for herself, for him, for his son: for all three of them!

Oh God! She cried within herself, how didn’t I notice it before? How could I be so stupid? Have I been taken for the ride? She asked herself; has he been taking advantage of me?

These thoughts shocked her. NO, this is not the way she wants to think about him; this is not the way she wants to think about their relationship.

Could it be that until now she hasn’t paid attention to these issues out of the “enormous love” she felt towards him? Could it be that she was still driven by the early promise they made to each other when he first moved in with her that “what’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine”, neglecting to see that except for “so much love” he contributed nothing?

We don’t know. It is almost impossible to know what’s going on in one’s head, especially in the head of someone who is willing to sacrifice herself “at the altar of a relationship”; who is willing to be taken advantage of “for the sake of love”, just so that she won’t be left alone.

Was she aware of the fears and needs that controlled her?

We don’t know. People are often subjective when thinking about themselves as well as about the relationship they are having. Many behave one way or another based on fears and needs which control them and drive them to self-sabotage and self-sacrifice themselves.

In addition, many often refuse to acknowledge this to be the case; often, they find a thousand and one excuses to justify to themselves why they behave the way they do, why they tolerate their situation. Often, they get angry at whoever attempts to shake them off their perception of reality and show them the true nature of their relationship.

So we don’t know what was going on in her head; what other thoughts were running there, back and forth, while she was sitting on the bench, drinking her wine, waiting for her partner to come home; we don’t know whether she contemplated what to tell him; whether to confront him. We don’t know whether she thought to herself “enough is enough!” and whether she felt ashamed of being taken for the ride for so long.

… or whether she re-affirmed to herself that she is a loving person; and that he loves her – in his own way – and that their relationship is “just fine”; maybe not terrific, but better than being alone.

I don’t know.

But if, by any chance, you know, please tell me:

Is it love? Is it abuse? Is it neediness?

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant, and the author of: “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship. In his book Dr. Gil shows you how you sabotage your relationships and what stands in your way from successful intimacy.

 

This entry was posted on April 2, 2016.