1. Greet your partner in a way that creates deeper connection.
Pay attention to how you greet your partner. Is it with a list of chores? Or problems? Or just a sideways ‘Hi’ without any eye contact?
What to do instead:
Stop what you are doing; your partner deserves a minute of your undivided attention. Look at them, smile, hug and hold them dearly while hugging for at least 10 seconds (champions go for a whole minute! Let me know if it’s you here). This is better done in silence.
Your relationship will benefit immensely! And this will only take a minute, at most two.
2. Add a 30-seconds kiss to your daily routine.
I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Remember how you used to love kissing in the beginning of your relationship? It’s time to go back to that feeling! Kiss, be fully present and explore different ways of kissing.
3. Sneak a loving sexy note.
Write a note for your partner and put it in their pocket or be creative with your bath mirror.
How easy is this?!?
Post a photo of your note here! I’d be delighted to see your creativity.
4. Focus on loving thoughts.
Look at your partner and think loving thoughts, feel love in your heart and imagine that you send your loving energy right into their heart.
You don’t have to speak to your partner about it.
I had an argument with my partner yesterday. Afterwards all I did was focus on loving thoughts and what I love about him. It’s amazing how much it changed the energy between us, and somehow he became oh so huggy and loving with me!
5. Notice, pause, appreciate.
Goes like this:
- You notice what your partner did for you today, the simplest, most ordinary thing – picked up groceries, looked at you with a smile, played with kids, put his socks away, cooked dinner for you, said you look nice today, etc.
- You pause and pay attention to the thing that your partner did for you.
- You look at your partner and say: “Darling, I so love it when you do… It means to me that… (I have a partner, you care about me, you consider my feelings, etc.) It makes me feel… (loved, respected, appreciated, etc.) It makes my life… (easier, happier, more exciting, etc.)
- It’s truly astonishing what this simple practice of noticing, pausing and verbally appreciating your partner can do to the amount of intimacy you share.
- Don’t you think this is easy to implement? Let me know how you get on.
6. Use beam gleam.
This trick comes from Dr Helen Pooler.
In social situations when your partner is on the other side of the room, look at them and say with your eyes ‘I love you, you matter to me, you are so special to me’. Send them a beam gleam and notice how your partner reacts.
7. Go to bed together.
We are in a vulnerable state when we fall asleep. We are defenceless and innocent. So when you fall asleep with your partner it creates more safety in your relationship. Most of us need to feel safe to feel love and be loving.
Do you have a habit of going to bed at different times and maybe working and doing chores? This habit could be very damaging to your love. Make a commitment to go to bed at the same time at least twice a week.
8. Touch your partner every day in a non-sexual way.
Touch! We all need it so much! Babies brains don’t grow to their full extent if they don’t get enough physical contact. They can even die from the lack of it.
Sometimes we might use sex to get the touch that we need or use sex as our security blanket, to reaffirm to ourselves that we matter to our partner. This is usually a turn off for the other.
Relationships fail to thrive if partners don’t give each other enough touch.
Pay attention to how often you touch your partner through the day. The goal – 3 points of touch contact. Maybe a hug, a pat on the head or holding hands. Advanced practitioners can do a head massage or a foot massage.
9. Assume that your partner loves you and cares about you.
Quite often we jump to the conclusions like “He doesn’t care enough.”, “She doesn’t appreciate me”, “It’ll never work” or something similar. What is your habitual conclusion?
When your partner upsets you make it a habit to assume that your partner still cares about you and loves you. Notice how differently you act when you assume the best. Share with us here!
10. Break the routine.
Do something unexpected together! Challenge yourself, push your boundaries, play with a fantasy or do something that you’ve always wanted to do, but are scared. Maybe now it the time to experience it together?
What will it be?! I’m excited to hear! Share here.
11. Help, please!
What is one of your sneaky intimacy tricks? Please let me know! I need to prepare myself for a surprise date my partner has organized for us. So please, do me a favor, email your favorite sneaky trick and I’ll include it here.
Choose one and go for it. Share your successes and struggles on our Magnetic Women Club page. Ask questions and I will personally reply.
Though maybe right now you constantly argue and you just don’t feel like focusing on loving thoughts and can’t even imagine sneaking a sexy note into his pocket.
Then you need my 13-Step Formula to Stop Arguments From Destroying Your Connection!